Stepmother Demands Stepdaughter Wake Up Early To Parent Her Children

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
May 21, 2022 3:00 PM EDT

OP here is in a bit of a bind, having had more children that she seems to reasonably be able to take care of on her own. Instead of asking the kids' dad for help, she went to her 16-year-old step daughter, asking if she could wake up early, make breakfast, and get her children ready for the day. Being a fellow child who also has to go to school, she very reasonably declined. They're not her kids, and she's technically one of them. But OP doesn't want to take no for an answer.

The internet was pretty adamant about the fact that this mom should have probably had the forethought to not put herself in the situation where she needs the help of her husband's kid just to wrangle all of her children, and went on to press as to why she didn't just ask the kids actual father.

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/Objective-Cry-9118 23 hours ago 3 2 2 AITA for asking my step-daughter to wake 20 minutes early so she can make breakfast? Asshole My husband and I just had our last kid a month ago, he has two from a previous marriage Paul(23M) and my stepdaughter Maddy (16F), she lives with us full time. We also had 4 kids ourselves Jason(7M), Mia (5F) Louis (3M) and our baby boy Joshua.
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  • 02
    Font - My step-daughter isn't really that involve with me, but she's really close to her younger siblings, I've never asked something like this before, during my previous pregnancies my husband was there to help me out since he had a more flexible schedule, but now he has a new job that requires him to be there al 6 am minimum, when our kids mostly wakes at 7- 7:30, lately I've been really tired since Joshua is a big crier and I decided to take the long nights since my husband needs to sleep wel
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  • 03
    Font - This has caused me to have big migraines because I sleep very little and I wake up to screaming children running around. My step-daughter is very chill, I take almost no care of her since she's pretty self-sufficient, during mornings she prefers not to eat breakfast since most times it makes her feel dizzy throughout the day, so while she wakes up with the kids, she just stays in her room getting ready. Today I pulled her aside and asked her if she could wake up 20 minutes early so she co
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  • 04
    Font - hour to sleep and feel ready for the day. She said no because her siblings are pretty energic and she doesn't feel she can't take care of them or get Louis to eat all of his food, and it also means that she has to make sure Jason and Mia are ready for school, dress them and make sure everything is in their bags so I can just grab them and take them. I tried to explain how I've been feeling really bad because I'm not sleeping well and she just shrugged and said "I said no, I'm not their mo
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  • 05
    Font - I texted my husband what happened and I mentioned how I would like if we could convince her, but he said I was and AH and that Maddy was right, we spoke on the phone and he sounded pretty mad, he said I better not ask her again and that he'll take the rest of the nights with Joshua before I should've asked him before. I'm confused, I only asked her to help and wake up 20 minutes early, she lives with us after all, so I don't know why is that a big deal.
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  • 06
    Font - 53 3 2 CaptSpacePants · 23 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [6] YTA Your step daughter was 100% correct. You are the parent. She is not. She isn't just "making breakfast"- you're asking her to do the full morning routine for all of her siblings. Totally not okay.
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  • 07
    Font - Kirin2013 · 22 hr. ago · edited 13 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [8] 92 YTA. Maddie just described a whole lot more going on that you expected her to do other than just getting up and making breakfast... Even then, you should have talked to your husband first and not press it. Why do people have more kids than they can handle and then always complain about it when the teenagers don't help enough =_=
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  • 08
    Smile - Journo_Jimbo · 23 hr. ago I've got the social repost title: Woman expects step- daughter to take over morning mothering duties so she can sleep in
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  • 09
    Font - MissionRevolution306 · 23 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [38] YTA. Your SD didn't have 4 additional kids, you and your husband did. Your husband can either help you with nights or you guys can hire help, but your SD needs her rest as a teen more than you or your husband. Teens need more rest than everyone but babies, plus she has to prepare for her day at school.
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  • 10
    Facial expression - KittiesLove1 · 22 hr. ago 2 YTA and a sexist. You skipped the man whose kids and responsibility they are, and went to the next female you found despite her having nothing to do with it.
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  • 11
    Font - DishsUp - 23 hr. ago · edited 22 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [6] YTA, she's a 16yo child, it's not her job to care for your children that she didn't want. Hire help or woman up, it's not this child's job to be your nanny
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  • 12
    Font - KittyJCaboose 23 hr. ago YTA. Because you can't accept no as an answer. Yes it's her family, but those are not her kids. That's you and the fathers responsibility. It wasn't wrong to ask if she would be willing, but being that upset and still pushing after she gave you a boundary, is what makes you the ahole here.
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  • 13
    Font - Chronic_Sardonic · 23 hr. ago Partassipant [4] YTA they are your children and you chose to have four more. Why do people think it's appropriate to have more kids than they can handle and then push parenting duties onto older siblings??? It's not. You're the parent and you wanted this situation
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  • 14
    Font - blackcatsandvelvet - 23 hr. ago If you can't handle that many children you shouldn't have squeezed them out. YT huge A
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  • 15
    Organism - Suitable-Cod-1381 · 22 hr. ago S Professor Emeritass [87] YTA If you can't manage your responsibilities as a parent, quit having kids. Your teenage stepdaughter has her own life and she's not responsible for feeding your kids. That's you and your husband's job. Stop trying to make her a surrogate parent.
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  • 16
    Human body - KathySue62 - 22 hr. ago YTA It's not her job to parent your children. You chose to have 4, so figure something out. But don't foist them off on your stepdaughter.
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  • 17
    Font - Alternative-Push3767 · 22 hr. ago Partassipant [1] YTA. She didnt decide to have extra kids. You did. Its not her job to help you make food she doesnt even eat. Nor is it her job to make sure her siblings are ready for school. Its yours. Maybe you shouldnt have had another kid if you couldnt manage the ones you already had.
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the internets step mother judgement parenting family step daughter children
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